Copyright 1998 by Bonnie Lee Bryant. All rights reserved.

I cannot imagine how we would have done it without my sisters. The night before we left, I called my younger sister, Barbara, in a panic about all the "what ifs" and "Oh My Gods!"

The prospect of "choosing", having to trust my instincts, the possibility of some kind of health problem, my conviction that I "couldn't handle" a special needs child, and the magnitude of consequences if I "made a mistake" were overwhelming me. Barbara asked me, "What is your heart's desire?" I paused, became quiet, and answered, "To have two little girls to love and who wi ll love us, and love the things we love, to be their Mommy and Daddy, and be a family." She then said, "God's promise is that you will receive your heart's desire, but you have to let go of all the rest." I held that reminder in my heart throughout the trip, and in many difficult days since as we have come to realize that both of our girls have some life-long challenges and health issues, and are, in fact, special needs children.

My older sister Becky and Barbara cleaned our house when we flew out of it on the morning we left, a stopped up sink full of dirty dishes, carpets that needed vacuuming, and nothing ready for the children (I was superstitious and wouldn't allow anything to be set up). When we returned, the house was spic and span, the crib was set up, the changing table was waiting and stocked, Amy's bed was covered in a little girl quilt which she kissed each morning and each night, she had a musical teddy bear, several new dresses, books, a little girl lamp... they had pink balloo ns and ribbons festooning the house, and a "Welcome Home" sign in Russian and English. Barbara had worked at learning how to say "Welcome Home" in Russian, and greeted Amy with this when she arrived at the airport.

Despite their busy schedules and the needs of their own families, they spent the first three days we were home with us, and when it was evident that Keith was not bouncing back quickly,(he was seriously ill from dehydration, a kidney infection, and undiagnosed diabetes, and went to the emergency room the first night we were home) and I was drowning from the double-demands of my work as a psychologist and the needs of my family, they took turns spending weekends with us for MONTHS so we could get some respite and some couple time. We had been married for 23 years when we became parents, and the loss of two-time was keenly felt. Becky and Larry took Amy on several full-day excursions, and had her over for sleepovers, and she always came back stimulated, talking more, and full of love for and from her aunt and uncle.

Barbara also had Amy over for sleepovers, and her son, Joshua, then 8, was very kind and generous with his mommy, his time, and his things, helping Amy learn to play and substantially boosting her mastery of English (he's quite a talker!) It was Barbara who was able to entice Amy out of the house for the first time in three days, by leaving the front door open and sitting on the stoop, talking casually, having a snack ready, and over the course of several hours moving by inches, and then down the steps one at a time, until Amy was sitting on Barbara's lap under a tree in our front yard.

My sisters and I have always been close, but their participation and support in our adoption has been unbelievable and wonderful. As experienced moms, they have supported me when I've been guilt-ridden about less-than-perfect mothering, sharing their own experiences and helping me keep perspective.

When we were told (when she was 8 months old) than Jennifer's eyesight was extremely poor and possibly deteriorating, and that she would likely never drive, and might ultimately be blind, (her vision prognosis now is not so bleak as when we first were told about it) Becky's response to my tearful -can't-catch-my-breath phone call was "I'll be right over," and she ploughed through DC rush hour traffic to sit with me, cry with me, help me come up with questions I hadn't thought to ask the doctor, and get me moving from despair to action. And again, later, when a neuropsychologist told us that Amy might be so learning disabled that she would "probably never read" (she now reads over 200 words, and reads Beginner books to me!) and might not be able to support herself or live independently, Becky again comforted me, challenged the test results with concrete experience with my daughter, focused me on "what can be done" actions, and met with the principal of the special education center and a realtor in a nearby county with better public schools.

In parent ing my girls, I am trying to help them create the relationship I have come to cherish with my sisters. I have told them that a sister is a friend you will have for your whole life. This reminder, and a deeper affection and and closeness with my sisters, is an extra blessing that has come to me through the adoption of my daughters.

Bonnie Lee Bryant: Mama to Amy and Mommy to Jennifer adopted from Samara, Russia, March 1995.